PS I Love you!
by silmarien189
Summary: Summer holiday is more awful than ever and Lily has nothing better to do than writing to James Potter - the boy she thoroughly hates - or so she thinks. Second story here, I hope you'd like it!  R&R, please!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone, and thanks so much to those who read and left a review for my first story! It felt so good that I decided to try something new. So - here it is. If you quys like it, it will be several chapters. If not... then bad for me haha! Oh, and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Follow your dreams!:))) **

"Merlin, Lily. This is enough. Just pull yourself together, get a shower or something and go to bed. We have a bloody exam tomorrow and you need to get some sleep". Mary Macdonald's pretty face was half-worried, half-irritated. Worried, because her best friend Lily Evans had been constantly crying for the past three hours. And irritated, because the person who had made her cry was Severus Snape. Mary detested Severus Snape from all her heart and had no idea why someone would ever cry a single tear for him.

"Anyway, I hope what happened today will finally make you realize something we have all known for almost six years. Severus Snape is a nasty little Death-Eater- to-be and I see no reason for you to ever talk to him again."

"I know you are right, Mary. It's just so hard. I know he has changed and he is not the boy who used to be my best friend. And still I can't believe he said _that word_ to _me_."

"He did, Lily. And he dares to show up here, I just can't believe it! What did he want anyway? Suppose he begged your forgiveness? Like that will change anything! Tell me you didn't forgive him, Lily, did you?"

"No, Mary, I can't forgive him. It's not only the word. It's the life he chose that I can't accept. I can't be friends with someone who thinks muggleborns are crap."

Lily's beautiful emerald eyes were wet with tears but she tried to smile, because Mary looked really concerned about her.

"Go to bed, Mary. I just want to sit a few minutes here by myself. I'll be fine, I promise."

"Are you sure, Lils?"

"Yes. I'm coming in a while".

Mary hugged her. "I'm always there for you. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do, Mary. You are my best friend. I'm glad I have you".

Mary went upstairs, leaving Lily alone in the empty common room. The fire in the fireplace was slowly dying and the last flames were throwing golden glimmers at her dark red hair. Lily sighed a deep sign. She recalled a hot sunny day almost six years ago, when she and Severus were lying on the warm grass in the forest near her house. And he told her everything about the wizarding world and Hogwarts, and the dementors. And when she asked him: "Is it bad? To be a muggleborn?", he looked into her bright green eyes and said: "No. It is not bad". God, how she missed that boy. Now she had to learn to hate him, because of everything he had become.

She wiped the last tears off her face and stood up from the cozy armchair. And then she realized that she was not alone in the room. Someone has just entered – someone with messy black hair, glasses and the slender built of a quidditch player. Someone she despised deeply from the very first time they met in the Hogwarts Express.

James Potter.

He came to her, а clearly concerned expression on his usually self-confident face.

„Lily! You have been crying, haven't you? What's wrong?"

"Leave me alone, Potter. I'm going to bed." She had no intention of explaining anything. Least of all to James Potter. But the arrogant prat obviously didn't understand a word. He caught her by her arm and asked anxiously:

"It's because of Snape, right. Because of what happened today! I'm going to kill him, I swear, hex that pathetic excuse for a Slytherin into death!"

"It's none of your business, Potter. And besides, it's all your fault." Lily abruptly pulled her hand from his.

"My fault! Are you insane, Lily, how is any of this my bloody fault!" James looked genuinely upset and shocked by her words, but she couldn't care less.

"You didn't leave him alone, Potter. You were insulting him, humiliating him in public. It was horrible of him to call me mudblood", Lily frowned while pronouncing the ugly word, "and I will never forgive him, but it's still your fault."

There were tears in her eyes again but she blinked rapidly and stared at James with a most disgusted stare. He clenched his fists and when he spoke, his voice was full of anger and resentment.

"You keep defending him. He betrayed you, Lily, betrayed your so-called friendship. _Why are you still defending him?_"

"Because once he was my friend. And I must believe that there is still something good left inside of him. This is what I believe, that there is something good in everyone. There has to be."

James Potter slowly shook his head.

"Yes. This is so damn typical of you, Lily Evans. You see something good in everyone. Except for me". Suddenly Lily saw the pain in his hazel eyes, and then he turned away and hurried to go upstairs, to the dormitories.

Lily was once more alone in the big empty room, even more confused than before. Maybe James Potter was right. Indeed she couldn't stand him. Indeed every time he tried to have a normal conversation with her, he pissed her off and brought out the worst of her. Everybody kept saying that he fancied her, but it only made things even worse. Yes, he was a conceited, arrogant toerag. He was always showing off, he and his oh-so-awesome best friends…The Marauders, as they had named themselves. The most popular, almost worshiped band in Hogwarts. But… they never cared about someone's blood purity. Yes, the Marauders were rebels, pranksters, they often infuriated her with their constant rule-breaking. But three things were absolutely positive about them: they hated Dark Arts, detested pureblood supremacy and betrayal of a friend was something highly unacceptable among them. Sirius Black was known for being the only member of his rich pureblood family ever sorted into Gryffindor. And he always tried to distinguish himself from his relatives. Remus Lupin was a quiet boy, dedicated to his studies, and Lily's fellow Gryffindor prefect. Peter Pettigrew was an insignificant person himself, but he adored his friends and would do anything for them. And then there was James Potter. A brilliant student, yet always ready for a good laugh. Always willing to help those who lacked his talent and abilities… This evening he seemed like he truly cared about her. Maybe – just maybe – she was a little too harsh on him.

"Well, so there_ is_ actually something good in James Potter", Lily considered a little later, already huddled in her warm, comfortable bed. It was a strange, yet somehow satisfying conclusion. "The next time he talks to me, I won't yell at him. It may be a refreshing change". Strangely, the thoughts about her Gryffindor classmate didn't enrage her as usual. They even brought her some unexpected comfort. Almost made her forget about Severus and the unfortunate end of their friendship. Lily closed her eyes and soon she was asleep. Luckily, it was a deep calm sleep, undisturbed by any dreams. After all, she had an exam to pass and an Outstanding to get the next day. She needed to be relaxed…

**That's all for now. I don't like the end, but couldn't think of anything better *blush*. Anyway, if you enjoyed it, leave me a review and it would be like a late Christmas present:))) Again, sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes! **

**xoxo, Stelly a.k.a Silmarien189**


	2. Chapter 2

Lily Evans was bored. She hated summer vacations in general but this was turning to be the worst one ever. Sure, she loved her parents and they were trilled to have her home. But this summer Petunia had been more insufferable than ever. Jealous and envy of her younger sister's magical skills, she was doing everything to make Lily's holiday a living hell.

So Lily tried to spend as much time as possible locked inside her room waiting for Mary's letters and for her exam results. But Mary was on a cruise with her parents and didn't have time to write that often. Poor Lily had reread all her favourite muggle novels and even started to keep a journal just to have her mind occupied. Not that she had anything to write about, since nothing was actually happening… After three weeks she had to admit the truth: she missed Severus. Every summer by now they spent hanging out together, talking about Hogwarts and the wizarding world. And now, after the ruin of their friendship, she not only felt alone, she almost felt as if magic wasn't real. It was positively driving her crazy!

Lily stretched out on her bed, wondering whether to take a nap or to go for another lonely walk in the neighborhood. Merlin, _she was_ _so bored!_

And then an owl came through the open window. A beautiful barn owl, carrying a large envelope with the mark of Hogwarts. It dropped the letter on the floor and flew out without wasting any time.

Lily picked the envelope from the ground. She could feel her heart beating faster than usual. Something told her that this letter contained her OWL results. She barely managed to open the envelope as her hands were trembling. "Calm down, Evans", she spat at herself. "You've only failed DADA and Runes, it can't be too bad". Then she unfolded the sheet of parchment and scanned it. She read it one, two, three times. And only then a careful small started to curve on her lips.

She read the letter for the forth times. Yes, there was no mistake.

Charms – O

Transfiguration – O

Potions – O

Herbology – O

DADA – E

Astronomy – O

History of Magic – O

Ancient Runes – E

Arithmancy – O

She couldn't have done any better! Yes, Defense against the Dark Arts wasn't her strength, since she was best at studying theory and using her organized, highly logical mind. And DADA needed more hot temper and improvisation. James Potter and Sirius Black for example were both naturals in it… As for Ancient Runes, it was her very last exam and she had been exhausted. But overall, she had done excellent! She couldn't wait to go back to school and see the faces of those creepy prejudiced Slytherins who – she was positive about it – had barely passed. Lily smiled at the letter. It surely had made her day.

But it wasn't the only letter she would receive today!

Utterly amazed, the girl watched as a large horned owl came into her room and landed gracefully on the bed right beside her. Lily took the letter from it and gently stroked the bird's neck. It was something familiar about it. The owl pecked her finger in unmistakable sign of affection, before flying away.

Lily looked at the envelope. It only said "Lily Evans". She didn't recognize the handwriting – bold, sharp letters with reverse slope but it intrigued her. She eagerly took the letter out of the envelope. It was pretty long, written in the same snappy style.

_Dear Lily,_

_Don't freak out! It's me. I guess you'd never expect me to write to you. But this summer has been very boring and I couldn't think of anything better to do. I haven't seen Sirius for ages – those creepy parents of him just won't let him stay with my family for the rest of the vacation. Guess they just like making his life miserable of something. Remus is dealing with some health issues again and Peter is… well, Peter. So I have practically nothing to do except practicing quidditch. I even tried reading some muggle stuff which turned out to be much better than I've ever expected. Have you come across something by Alexandre Dumas? "The Count of Monte Cristo" was totally awesome. Although if I was that Edmon Dantes dude, I'd just Avada Kedavra all the bad guys. OK, just kidding!_

_Anyway, there is something I want to discuss with you. These are my OWL results. Done pretty well, don't you think so? Not that I boast or something. However, I'd appreciate if you tell me your results and which NEWT classes you plan to take. I'm thinking DADA, Transfigurations, Charms, Herbology, Care of Magical creatures and Runes. Not sure whether to take Astronomy though, so I could use an advise._

_Charms – O_

_Transfiguration – O_

_Potions – A_

_Herbology – O_

_DADA – O_

_Astronomy – O_

_History of Magic – D_

_Care of Magical Creatures – O_

_Ancient Runes – E_

_Don't laugh about History of Magic. Actually I had a bet with Sirius whether I'd dare to fail on purpose. I wrote on my parchment "The worst class ever" about one thousand times. And then started counting how many pages you'd write. They were 167 right? Who cares about that dull subject anyway? As for Potions, it has never been my thing. Thank God for Remus and his notes, otherwise I'd never pass at all. You have always been the queen of Potions, haven't you, Miss Evans? I quess old Slughorn would be relieved to get rid of me. Remember last term when Adrian Nott's cauldron "accidentally" exploded and he ended covered in small nasty green tentacles? Well, that was me. But it was Siruis' fault – another bet… you don't want to know the details, trust me!_

_OK, that's enough for now. I hope I didn't make you mad and you won't hex me into oblivion for writing to you. However, I'd be really happy if you write back. Just don't send Howlers – Sirius sends one per week just for the pure pleasure of getting on my nerves. If you don't bother to write, then have a very happy summer and I'll see you on sept. 1st._

_Take care,_

_James_

Lily smoothed the parchment and smiled. A letter from James Potter! If that wasn't a shock… After their argument more than a month ago he had given up constantly asking her out. Actually he had stopped talking to her at all, even noticing her presence. In some ways it was a relief, for James Potter had a real talent in making her mad. But sometimes she felt guilty for saying it was his fault that she was no longer friends with Severus. And the contents of the letter were even more surprising. She never expected him to show any interest in muggle literature. Lily had read "The Count of Monte Cristo", of course she had! It was even one of her favorites. And what to say about his OWL results? Positively, he had done great. Six O-s – one less than hers. He even surpassed her at DADA! But it was not a big surprise, since he was the best in their year. More important, she totally kicked his arse in Potions! Lily giggled at the thought of him and Sirius betting about failing History of Magic on purpose. It definitely sounded like them! And the girl couldn't help but feel flattered that he expressed interest in her grades. After all, they were close competitors for the top position in class and it felt good that James was finally admitting it. James Potter sounded – and it was the exact word – matured.

Lily remembered her decision to try and be nicer to him. Maybe writing back was the first step. Maybe this long boring summer would be the perfect time to get to know him better. She took a sheet of parchment, wondering for a second how to start. Then smiled softly while writing:

"Dear James…"

* * *

**So, after almost eight months I updated this! First I planned a story with several chapters, but it didn's seem to provoke any interest, so I abandoned it. But today I was soooo bored (almost as poor Lily) and decided to give it a second chance. If I get at least one review, I'll update it sooner or later. If not - then I guess the story really sucks and I'd better concentrate on something else. **

**Please, one tiny little review? *puppy eyes***

**xoxo, silmarien**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi there! First of all, a big THANK YOU to valenari and AnnaVD for reviewing! You guys have made me so happy! So, this chapter is for you.**

"_Dear James,_

_Thank you for your letter. The 37__th__ one, right? Sure we both had a very long summer, haven't we? Anyway, school starts tomorrow, so I guess there will be no more letters. Maybe you'd even dare to show up and say in person what you think of Jane Austen. But be careful, Potter, I can be quite touchy when it comes to Jane Austen…."_

Lily laughed to herself. If three months ago anybody had told her that she will keep a constant and regular correspondence with James Potter, she would have raised an eyebrow in disbelief. But here she was, composing a reply for 37th time straight.

Answering to his first letter was a bit difficult. She wrote down her OWL results, mentioned the NEWT classes she intended to take, and said a few good words about his performance. And this was the easy part. She wondered whether to mention their fight about Severus. Whether to make some sort of an apology. Eventually she decided to pretend it didn't happen, just like he did. His letter had been so funny, nonchalant and positive… Lily wanted to keep the light mood. Besides she wasn't ready to discuss serious topics. She didn't know the guy that well and still wasn't sure if she could trust him.

Well, it turned out she could. Moreover, he trusted her. It was obvious and Lily couldn't help being flattered and touched. Usually his letters made her laugh. He talked a lot about books and his biting sarcastic comments often scandalized her. He mentioned his friends at least once in each letter and Lily felt she was getting to know not only James, but the other three Marauders as well. He vividly described the pranks they were preparing for the new school year. Quite strangely, this didn't annoy her. Actually Lily found herself looking forward to the spectacular pool party the boys were planning to host… in Gryffindor Common room. _"Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a magic that creates a bloody pool inside a room? Especially when those three idiots have left me do all the work! Anyway, you'll come to the party, right? And you can help me drown __о__ne of them by your choice. Do we have a deal?" _

Sometimes, however, his tone was more serious. He wrote about his parents and how they always encouraged him to pursue his dreams. Although he still wasn't sure what he dreamed of and what he wanted to do after Hogwarts. One morning he would wake up, determined to go pro and play Chaser for the Falmouth Falcons. Then by the afternoon he would dream of taking a world tour and getting to know different wizarding cultures. But most of all he wanted to become an Auror. Sometimes he talked of the war, how he detested The Dark Lord and his followers, how he wanted to fight against them. How he just didn't get why someone should be judged by their blood and not their personality. _"I think dying in a battle to defend what's good in this world seems like a pretty good way to go…"_

And slowly, imperceptibly Lily realized that she no longer despised James Potter. He was nothing like the arrogant prat she used tо take him for. Ok, probably he used to be, but he had changed. The boy who wrote those letters was by all means a good person and a trustworthy friend.

Now the holiday was almost over. By tomorrow evening they would be finally back in Hogwarts. Lily couldn't wait to see her friends Mary McDonald and Alice Wright. And – she smiled at the thought – maybe she wanted to see James too. To make sure they'd continue with their newly developed friendship. And to laugh at him for reading the collected works of Jane Austen, something she had dared him to do about two weeks earlier.

Lily went to bed early that night. She turned off the light and prepared to get some sleep, for she had to wake up at 6 a.m. the next morning. She'd definitely lost practice over the summer, since sleeping late was one of her ways to avoid constant boredom. And just then a quite familiar horned owl came through the open window, carrying a small piece of parchment. Lily turned the light on and grabbed the parchment. There were only a few words on it, but she smiled again and felt her heart beat a little faster.

"_Watch out, Lily Evans. It's gonna be an interesting year. J.P."_

* * *

**Well, it's short. I know. But it covers a month and a half of practically doing nothing - except exchanging letters, of course! :D And just to mention - I have nothing against Jane Austen. It's just that I dared my boyfriend to read "Pride and Prejudice" and he said "I guess only girls can like this stuff". ****The next chapter will be longer and will have more things to happen. I just need some motivation, so review! Please! Pretty pretty please!  
**

** xoxo_, _silmarien189**_  
_


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